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Showing posts from March, 2012

in which cute kittens are cute

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Cat. 
What are you doing, cat?
Stop it. You are not a hamster. 
You’re a cat.

May The Odds Be Ever In Your Favour

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I almost started this post saying I thought I’d found a new Harry Potter but then I realised that that’s a total lie.  I haven’t found a new Harry Potter at all because Harry Potter is Harry Potter and owns a part of my soul that can never be replaced but it’s a long time since I was as excited about a film as I was last night before I went to see The Hunger Games. I was excited, and I was worried, that knot in the tummy that screams ‘I will hunt you down and I will yell at you, filmmakers, if you have destroyed a book I love’ because it’s always a fear, that the film will ruin the story. Helen whispered to me before it started ‘I have that funny feeling in my tummy’ right before she started to hum Hedwig’s Theme which made me laugh in a nervous ‘why are we here’ kind of a way. My problem is and always has been that I love the books and the characters I love so much that it almost becomes personal and actually kind of hurts when the film destorys them [yes, The Golden Compass. I’m looki…

Weird Things Customers Say In Bookshops

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Lalalalaaaa!! I shall post this now and get it out of my system. Are you ready? 
I am lucky enough to have in my possession an advance copy of the fabulous ‘Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops’ by the equally fabulous Jen Campbell. Looky looky, I have my own copy and it’s so beautiful. It also has Jen’s writing in it. I have lots of letters and cards and stuff all over my house with Jen’s writing all over them because Jen is the queen of snail mail but this is special because this is a book and Jen wrote it and I have all the proud friend feelings right now.
Jen, if you don’t know, is a very talented writer, she has had both short stories and poems published, had a poem animated for the recent Smile London campaign, has a full poetry collection awaiting publication later this year and also has a short story collection and a novel in the works. She’s awesome. I’m telling you now, this girl is going to make it big and you read it here first [unless of course you are here because Jen …

You Got A Friend In Me

“I have a friendship cake that I think I might have to bake during our stay at Jane’s – is it acceptable to take cake batter on a road trip?”  Helen asked one day, via email.
“What on earth is a friendship cake?” I replied.
Her answer didn’t really clear things up, “Herman is a friendship cake – he’s German.”
‘”I’m so confused right now” I told her, “you don’t even know.”
A few days later, with my own little [gooey] Herman and a set of instructions it all became clear. Herman is a chain letter. Or rather he’s a chain cake, a sour dough cake in fact,  and he comes with no horrible consequences but rather a lot of responsibility [if you put him in the fridge he will die; if he stops bubbling he is dead; some days he gets hungry and eventually, no matter how much you feed him, he winds up starving.]
I poured him into a mixing bowl and poked at him with a spoon. He didn’t look well. I worried the outlook wasn’t good. Still, God loves a trier. “This is Herman.” I told Ian as I covered him [Her…

Afternoon Tea, but what’s the twist?

Last weekend Helen and I jumped on the Groupon bandwagon with what [on paper] seemed a very exciting deal: afternoon tea with a twist, [from the Groupon ad]
“adding a twist to afternoon tea, Beluga's version of the pre-dinner pinky lifter eschews warm beverages in favour of the more exciting cocktail. Bellini cocktails will be poured from a teapot and served with a selection of sandwiches, such as cucumber, smoked salmon, and cheese and ham. Scones with clotted cream and a cake stand flanked by teatime treats will also be included for duos to feast on.”

Hmmmm. Well. I’m not sure I’d call it Afternoon Tea but there was certainly a twist, if the fact that is was potentially the worst dining experience of my life counts as a twist.
We had a table booked for 5pm and arrived at about 4.55 where we were kept waiting for almost ten minutes, the waiter, when he finally arrived glanced at his watch and snippishly told us we were late. Actually, no, we were on time. Black mark number one, …
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March, already? Seriously, how did that happen? I can't believe we're at the end of week 9. I'll be retiring before I know it - a girl can dream, right?

Yesterday was the 29th of February.
A leap year.
Now now, calm yourselves down please! This girl did not celebrate in the traditional sense by asking her boyfriend to marry her. No she did not. Call me traditional but if he likes it then he can jolly well be the one to put a ring on it. Beyonce had a point, people.

Instead, I went to the gym and gave myself a stitch on the crosstrainer and had a swim and spent longer in the jacuzzi than I'd spent exercising because,well, because I wanted to and I offer no excuses or apologies.  I then went home planning to eat peanut butter on toast [crunchy, always crunchy] only to discover Ian was cooking pasta.
Bless him I hear you say. Yes, that's what I thought.
There then followed a scene that I'm pretty sure wouldn't be out of place on some comedy sketch program whe…